TRANSCRIPT: Tenacity through trauma with Clarissa Sempel

TRANSCRIPT FOR Tenacity through trauma with Clarissa Sempel, released Monday 28 August 2023:

(MUSIC BED)

MARY BOLLING, HOST: First up, just a warning – this episode of How to Change a Life covers topics that could be distressing.

If you need support, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Now, here’s How to Change a Life.

CLARISSA SEMPEL, LAWYER:

I feel like I would have been 12 to 13, my dad turned to me and said, you’re smart Clarissa, you could be a lawyer, you could be a judge, and that word just stuck with me, lawyer.

When you lose someone in the way I have, I was 16 when he passed, that stage of grief actually involves a lot of blame… I had to progress to accept myself in a way as well.

Working full time was something I needed to do to bring in enough income to give my brothers and sisters something… I remember never being able to learn to dance, which is weird, but at the same time, I wanted them the opportunity to dance if they wanted to dance.

MB: Have you ever said “the juggle is real”?

Look, it’s a handy catch-all for the busy-ness, the projects, the pace of modern life – and sure, we’ve all got something to juggle!

When those balls up in the air are building your dream career, and providing for your family of eight, AND the grief and trauma of losing a parent… then, yeah, the overwhelm is real.

But knowing your purpose – and knowing yourself – can create the path through.

I’m Mary Bolling and this is CQUniversity’s How to Change a Life.

And today, we’re hearing from a successful lawyer and community leader, who faced the overwhelm, and made it through.

In the spirit of reconciliation, CQUniversity recognises this episode was recorded and produced on the Traditional Lands of the   Gadigal People in Sydney, and the Wurrundjeri people of the Kulin nation in Melbourne.

We pay respects to Elders past and present, and their life-changing connection to country and culture.

CS: I’m Clarissa, and at the moment I’m a lawyer, actually promoted to an associate last year, a step up from a junior lawyer. I work across a variety of different types of matters, between commercial business, helping small business owners, and then of course helping employees with the different issues they might have as well. I do a whole range, I just don’t touch criminal law, don’t touch family law!  

MB: Clarissa has been practicing as a solicitor since 2019… but her first steps towards law go back much further.

And like so much of Clarissa’s career and her life, it all comes back to family.

CS: Look if I think about the first time it really popped into my head, it was sitting at an octagonal dining room table that we had at home, it was fairly squishy in there, I’m one of seven kids. And I think I was around 12 or 13. And I remember Dad saying, “you’re smart Clarissa, you could be a lawyer, you could be a judge”. So it just stuck into my head there, lawyer, and from that point it was always tracking…  it just kind of progressed from that one small comment years and years and years ago. 

MB: That idea, and her dad’s inspiration, is in Clarissa’s mind all through high school… and her love for legal studies cements the career plan.

Then, the plan hits pause – for the toughest of reasons.

In her final year of high school, Clarissa’s dad dies by suicide.

And for Clarissa and her family – that’s her mum and her six younger siblings - life is thrown into turmoil.  

CS:

It was quite hard, I was quite young… And it’s quite a challenging time. You talk about the five stages of grief, but when you lose someone in the way I have, that stage of grief actually involves a lot of blame. There’s a lot of self-blame, there’s a lot of blaming other people. And so I went through that real transition.  

It hasn’t affected my view of law, but has affected how I view other people. I had to progress to accept myself in a way as well, because there was a lot of self-blame. And maybe once a year I have to put that in my mind again, because there’s always a lot of what ifs. It’s about bringing yourself back mentally, and that’s the learning that I’ve taken from it, to watch others and also watch myself.

MB: So Clarissa is grappling with emotional fallout – but still finishes high school that year.

And putting one foot in front of the other, she gets through her Bachelor of Arts at University of Wollongong. 

She hasn’t forgotten her lawyer dream though… and in 2015, she begins a Bachelor of Laws with CQUniversity.

At the same time, she takes on a full-time administrative role at a law firm.

And then… it’s the practical fallout from life after tragedy, that’s hitting hard.

CS:

When I first started my law degree at CQU, I was like, okay great I’ll be able to manage work, for some reason I was working seven days a week, please don’t do that! And thinking I could manage a full time study, and ultimately I couldn’t.

The working seven days a week was driven by my home life, more than anything. To be quite frank it was quite something, my mum had fairly severe anxiety, she wasn’t leaving the house at the time. So I was really the only person bringing in income and having to take care of my younger siblings. We’d lost my dad a few years prior. 

I guess working full time was something I needed to do to be able to give my brothers and sisters something. I was determined they all had an extra curricular which I guess is weird to think about when you’re mainly trying to get people staples… but I remember, never being able to learn to dance. Which you know, is weird but I wanted to be able to choose dance if they wanted to dance.  

I wanted them the opportunity to dance if they wanted to dance. 

MB: That focus, on what she could do for the people she loves the most, keeps Clarissa going... even when the going is so tough.

But getting through doesn’t just mean grin and bear it – Clarissa keeps making changes to make it all work.

CS:

You get a lot of advice within the first year or so about how you should be studying! But ultimately how you should be studying is how study works for you. It took a while to learn that for myself, to work out the right way to learn content in the right way for my brain, and once I did I created a study schedule and a checklist and actually get better at the study part of it, right?
Flexibility was one of the things that was really important to me because it helped me work full time. I used to do a lot of reading my textbooks before work and during lunch, so I’d usually get to the office an hour, an hour and a half early and be sitting there with my books and a highlighter sometimes. 
But I’d also pop into a safe study place on a weekend, and sit there and be able to watch my lectures and tutorials all weekend, and I’d do it in big blocks, because by the end of the night after working full time you get a bit tired. 
Not exactly sustainable, I had a few educational hurdles along the way let’s say, my transcript is far from perfect.. but that’s not a big problem, because I was able to come out with a very mixed bag in my transcript, but that hasn’t actually prevented me from moving forward at all. 

MB: And sure, Clarissa says her transcript isn’t perfect… but amidst the juggle, she’s also realising there’s more to study than just grades.

In her third year, she makes time for a CQU Global Outbound experience – with a legal placement in Cambodia.

Travelling with other students and lecturers, and finding community within her degree, is another gamechanger.

CS: From there started to get involved in the law society, skilled me in other ways I hadn’t thought about previously. So one big takeaway is about getting involved, because jumping on board at CQU meant jumping on board at other organisations, I haven’t hestitated any more.

MB: The next big jump on board is Junior Chamber International… a youth leadership initiative, with a local chapter close to home in Illawarra.

CS: I was really able to connect with that organisation, to connect with a mentor in the local community, I think that was my biggest concern coming out of it, am I employable and can I get a job as a lawyer?!
 
MB: Clarissa joins JCI with a focus on what her career can get out of getting involved… 

But pretty quickly, she’s finding herself putting back into the organisation. 

Like, when her local chapter goes a bit quiet – and she starts asking questions, even though she probably already knows the answer! 

CS: Okay, do I have time? Well, I’m sitting here, I’m a member, I want to do something… rather than think too hard about how it’s going to fit in, I just get involved on a snap decision. 

Sometimes I think I just do the jump on the decision rather than thinking it through – if I think too hard on a decision, I’m probably going to talk myself out of it! But a really quick pros and cons, thinking does this fit here, here, take it on, can always readjust later.  

And I guess one of the things I pioneered last year for that was a national public speaking and debating training program, and that was probably something I really wanted to get involved in, it was all about developing transferrable skills in persuasive speaking, and giving people opportunity to try their hand at public speaking in a safe space. That’s probably something I was able to do that reflects better for me! 

MB: This year, Clarissa became the National President of Junior Chamber International Australia. 

That means, leading the Australian members of the global network, which drives international cooperation, individual development and community impact across more than a hundred and ten countries. 

That’s on top of her professional role as a solicitor with Our Lawyers, in the New South Wales Southern Highlands. 

Since graduating from her Bachelor of Laws in 2019, she’s been admitted as a Lawyer of the Supreme Court of NSW, and of the High Court of Australia, and progressed from PA to law clerk to associate. 

She’s also been recognised as a finalist across a ton of law awards.  

And this year, Clarissa has been named CQUniversity’s Alumnus of the Year for Early Career Achievement. 

And with everything she is achieving, Clarissa says it’s all happening thanks to those epic study schedules - and the juggle – back in her CQU degree. 
 
CS: I think that’s the biggest thing I’ve actually taken on to what I’m doing now, so I know what makes me tick a little bit better. And I have a fairly cohesive to do list electronically maintained, so that I can keep track of everything I’m trying to do. It took me a bit of time to learn, but that’s what I’ve learned now, from studying. 
 
MB:  So those practicalities are one thing, working out the “how” and “when” and “where” of getting work done. 

But in her studies, and in her career, Clarissa has always known her “why” – and she’s never stopped making her work about people. 

CS:

I had a call the other week, and they were just able to say I’d been able to help them. That’s really all that matters to me. To hear someone say that to you – even if you only gave a little bit of your time, I’m very easy to say, oh I didn’t do anything, and I say that a lot! But when someone says that I’ve helped them, that’s the biggest win for me ever. 

The why of that, I think I just go down to basic psychology ideas, I’m the eldest child of seven, and parents needed a lot of support,  I think it’s just ingrained into who I am at this point.

MB: So Clarissa knows without a doubt who she is… 

… and when I ask how she got this point, she has a small – but powerful – answer. 

CS: I think it’s just doing one little thing at a time, I’m not sure I’m looking at the biggest picture either… but just keep going, just keep doing one thing at a time, then suddenly you realise, if you look back, you’ve done a whole lot more than you anticipated.
 
MB: Clarissa Sempel there… reminding us that even the smallest progress – through the toughest juggle – can help build a huge impact.

And for all her incredible dedication and determination, Clarissa is CQUniversity’s 2023 Alumnus of the Year for Early Career Achievement.

CQUniversity’s practical and career-focused courses can grow your skills and connections. 

Head to cqu.edu.au/study to learn more… 

… and if you want to follow Clarissa’s lead into the legal profession, visit cqu.edu.au/law. 

You’ve been listening to How to Change a Life by CQUniversity Podcasts. Theme music is WINGS by CQUniversity alumnus Tristan Barton – check out more of his work at tristanbartonmusic.com

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Til then, stay safe and have a life-changing day!